Let me preface this by saying that just two weeks ago I spoke to the principal of the school. She has almost 800 students so I never expect her to remember me right off the bat. When I told her what child I belonged to she proceeded to tell me all about Mark. I later told Mark that I had talked to Mrs. D and I asked him "So what do you think she had to say about you?" His reply, "That I'm a nice, sweet kid who will help anybody"....long pause...."so what did she say?" "That you're a really sweet kid that will help anybody." He then replies with his best fist pump and a loud "BOO YEAH!"
So as the vice principal is telling me that he has Mark in the office I was beginning to feel sick--thinking what did he do? He had Mark in the office because Mark was the victim of assault. After Chris dropped him off that morning, one of the teachers had popped her trunk open then got out of the car and locked it with the keys still in the ignition. So she asked Mark if he would be willing to crawl through her trunk into the backseat and unlock it. True to his nature, he was more than happy to help. She was so excited that she did not have to call the local car unlocking company that she gave Mark five dollars. He was so happy that someone paid him that he went off to rejoice with his friends. One boy was standing there giving Mark a hard time. Saying things like "you did what to who in the trunk for five dollars?!" Now I have told my boys never to use shut up--it's ugly. But Mark had had enough and he told this boy, we'll call him Jake, to shut up. The boy then proceeded to ask Mark if he wanted to "start it." Mark said, "Jake I just want you to shut up!" Then Jake who probably stands a good three inches shorter than Mark reared back and popped him in the nose. Mark didn't retaliate, but turned and walked away. He was stunned and went to the place he felt the safest. His school has a drama department that he never got involved in, but he has grown close to the drama teacher and that is where he went. It snowballed from there and he and Jake ended up in the Principal's office only thirty minutes after school started.
Jake SWORE that Mark hit him with his trumpet case and that he hit him hard. If Mark would have hit him as hard as the boy was claiming, Jake would still be laying on the ground. The eyewitnesses cooberated that Mark did not touch Jake. So Jake got in school suspension. Now Jake comes from a well off family. Sometimes that affords a child a bit more popularity than that of a child from an average income family. So all of Jake's friends, and wanna be friends, are going up to Mark saying,"you're a punk--you got Jake in trouble" blah blah blah. The vice principal told Mark that he was proud of his decision to walk away. Others told Mark that he should have hit him back. Mark felt "beat up" at the end of it all. I certainly NEVER want Mark to stand there and get beat up. But had he hit Jake back our situation would be completely different and Mark would be looking at in school suspension too.
He has adults who are now looking at him with a greater sense of respect. And he walks tall knowing he was not at any time in the wrong. He has solidified his credibility. I think that has done more for his self esteem than if he would've taken Jake down (which he SO could've done). I'm a bit disappointed that I have not heard from Jake's parents. But I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Mark has also learned that his true friends will stick by him no matter what. After school his very best friend said "I just found out another reason why I don't like Jake." When I told Mark later what his buddy said, I could see the tears forming. So Mark bled a lot that morning, and his nose is still a bit sore, but he better understands what "turn the other cheek" means. He gets the importance of walking as a peace maker. And I am once again reminded that I am really raising some great kids. When I visualize him walking away, I think of our Savior and how He never raised a hand to those who were beating Him, even though He had every right. So I have to believe as proud as I am of Him--Christ is even more so. And that makes me smile.
1 comment:
I love hearing stories about your boys. They are amazing young men. For Mark to walk away like that had to be very hard. I think it says a lot about him that his first instinct was not to strike back. Too many of us would have reacted differently and then felt bad later. He gets to have a clear conscience all the way around. I'm proud of him.
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