Sometimes my blog really is a little on line diary left open for the entire world to read. By that I mean it is often a place to come and vent, and I seem to do it so effortlessly.
Yet in my last post I talked about my motto these past months. And it was as if the Lord Himself were standing over my shoulder reading word for word (which He was). But being the awesome Father that He is, He reminded not to give up.
After that post, my neighbors across the street "Mr. Larry and Miss Freda" to my boys, just got home from the vet with the 16 year old dog. She had hip surgery. Well, Mrs. Freda has a bad back and Mr. Larry just recently had rotator cup surgery on his shoulder so neither of them could lift her out of their car. Mr. Larry came over and asked for Chris, but he was at work so I volunteered to help. I got their dog out of their car and carried her inside. The next day Mrs. Freda came over to deliver the most beautiful plant. I LOVE plants, but tend to kill them--of course I did not tell her this. But I exclaimed that she did not have to do this it was not a big deal. She said "well it was a big deal to me." Every time I look at that plant, I smile and think of how beautiful it is--after I say a short prayer that I don't kill it. But she rewarded me for something that I did out of kindness. It was a serendipitous blessing.
Next, my sweet friend from college wrote the sweetest post on her blog about me. Because I've spent more time AWAY from Tracy than close by, I sometimes feel as though I am not making any kind of significant deposit into our friendship. But she really erased that feeling in her words. She is so precious to me, and such a special link to some fun times in my youth before I settled into motherhood. She is my reminder that I was once young, vibrant, and fun, and she is my belief that I am more than "just a mom".
Then, another friend called and IMMEDIATELY knew what frustrations I was dealing with even though I did not so clearly write them out. I tried to be discreet in my post as to protect the innocent and not get myself into trouble. But she knew right away. God reminded me that He sent her at that time because He too knows my frustrations.
And my dear sweet husband...he heard my post and went out and bought me a sweet gift to try to cheer me up. Of course, because Christmas was only a week earlier, I insisted he take it back. It was a newer, bigger MP3. Naturally I loved it, but my little pink one is working just fine. I told him to take it back and get a refund. He can buy me another one for my birthday. I love that we are so close to one another that he would do that. But I love even more that I can tell him to return it without hurting his feelings. Because truly I appreciated his effort, but I just want to be a good steward of what God has given us. So as a compromise, he put MY Friends series on his MP3 so I can watch them when I am waiting at the bank, the doctor's office, at school--until I get my own. He's so good to me. He knows what laughter does to my spirit and he recognizes that I am not doing much of it lately.
Yet, all of these people were sent by God himself. He sees all, and this week He reminded me "Do not become weary in doing good for at the proper time you will reap a harvest IF YOU DO NOT GIVE UP!" Galatians 6:9
Father, I am weak. I am tired. I want to tell those hurtful, complacent people exactly what I feel. I want to give up. But Lord, I am grateful for the reminders you've sent this past week. Help me to always be that sensitive to the things you send my way. I want to see your hand in it all. I want to recognize the eternal in the temporary. I want to know that what I am doing is making a difference not for myself, but for your kingdom. But in spite of that I know I will continue becoming tired, and weak, I am simply human. It is in those times I ask for your strength, because I know it is always enough. Thank you for loving me--weariness and all. In Jesus Name, Amen.
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