Note: I orginally wrote this post back in January. Apparently, the infection is still there and we're still trying to remove it. It is my hope that these words bring comfort to someone else who might also be experiencing the hurt of healing.
Have you ever had a bad infection? A puss filled lesion that caused serious illness? My oldest son contracted MRSA the summer of 2007. It started out as a small pimple like blister on his back. We put him on antibiotics for what we THOUGHT was a staph infection. But it was not clearing up. And...it was getting bigger...and Mark was getting sicker. He was running a fever of 103 and aching all over. It would fill with so much puss that by the end of the day I just knew his skin would burst from the pressure. So we would drain it nightly. We had to get that stuff out. But he cried so hard when it was time to drain it. He knew it was for his own good, but he dreaded it--I dreaded it. I would fill Kleenexes full of the infection, it looked horrible and smelled worse. By the time we took him back in (Which was only a matter of days) the blister was now the size of a half dollar, and growing. I was extremely concerned because he had also broken his arm only a week before that. I just knew if we did not get this infection cleared up, it was going to settle in his break.
When the doctor saw it again for the second time in less than a week he was floored. How did it get so big?! We were treating it with antibiotics! So he had to cauterize it open. He had a special tool that looked like a pen, he heated the tip up, and then punctured the wound. As soon as he punctured the wound with the hot tip, it gushed like popping a water balloon. Next, he laid Mark down and SQUEEZED that blister until I couldn't stand it any longer. Mark was in so much pain, but the doctor said we HAVE to get all of this out. He took a culture of the junk and covered the open wound with gauze. But it was still open. So he was extremely sensitive. He couldn't even brush that shoulder or it sent pain down his entire side. And I had to change the dressing everyday, twice a day. And every time I did, the dressing was filled with the infection. But, after we got the results back the doctor took Mark off of the 1,000mg of antibiotics he put him on initially and gave him the appropriate drug to fight this bacteria. After about four days of dressing changes and nasty tasting antibiotics, the infection looked like it was retreating. It was losing the fight. When the wound started trying to seal back up I had to reopen it to make sure it could drain. It was not fun. But I had to do it to help Mark get better. And he did get better.
And right now that is what it feels like in my own life. I feel like God is trying to squeeze the infection out of me--it is hurting me. I know He is doing it for my own good. I know if He doesn't remove this sickness, it will, like Mark's arm, hurt other parts of my spiritual body. It will eventually take over. He has cauterized my spirit open. And every time something brushes up against this wound, it hurts, sends pain down my spiritual spine. I am so ready to be done with this phase in my life. But, just like Mark, I know it takes time to drain my flesh of this disease. So I will wait and trust that God knows.
For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal. Job 5:18
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