"While I'm waiting I will serve you. While I'm waiting I will worship. While I'm waiting I will not faint. I'll be running the race even while I wait."
That song seems to strike at the very core of everything in my life right now. The Lord is working trust into my life in a big way. Trust with finances, trust with my "job", trust with my teenage son.
And while I have to work through each one, while I have to seeks His answers in each area, I must wait. I must wait for His plan to work itself out. I'm seeking His will. And I know that He sees my heart when it comes to my finances. I can look back at all of the times He's provided when we had SO much less than we do now. So as He is asking me to trust Him with this area of my life I know He will continue to provide.
I can also take time to revisit the last 10 years in the nursery and see how God has time and again brought the most amazing women into our employ. And while the process isn't always fun I know He loves these little ones a thousand times more than I do and I know He will continue to care for them.
Then there's my son...what an amazing bright young man he is. Have I mentioned that he is carrying a 4.5 GPA right now? Because he takes all pre-ap classes he has the potential to have a 5.0, but hey I am quite impressed with the 4.5. He's on the JV tennis team at HS. He is a member of the marching band. He will be in the Goldfish Drama class which is a class for upcoming freshman who show promise in theatre arts. And he will play soccer for the HS during tennis' off season. He's amazing. But my heart hurts for him.
He had a tennis tournament today. He made it to the masters this summer. Finished 5th on the ladder. But he was beaten in the consolation bracket. When the game was over he took a big swing in the air with his racket and because his hands were drenched the racket slipped out of his hands--no FLEW out of his hands is a better way to put it--into the court next to him where two young ladies were playing their match. IMMEDIATELY there was gasp through out the gallery, and he threw up his hands before the racket even landed, and said "I didn't mean to do that. I promise." I completely believe him. Yet, our anger is like that sometimes. We react and the reaction affects someone else we never intended to involve. Luckily, no one was hurt. Otherwise he could have lost his spot on the team before school even started.
He felt bad and the flying tennis racket only compounded his disappointment in the day. He sat in the van and hung his head saying "What did I do wrong?" I don't know what the Lord is trying to teach him. And I don't know if he's really ready to learn it. So this area is the hardest for me to wait in. I know the Lord is pursuing him. But I don't know if Mark gets it. I don't know if it is sinking in for him. And there is only so much I can tell him before he gives the eyes-glazed-over stare. I think I never feel more helpless than when I have to watch my children learn the lessons God has for them.
So tonight Lord, like always, I give him to you. Because I know that You did not place so many talents and gifts into this young man without a plan for great things. And I will worship you, serve you, and run the race while I wait.
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