Walking Through the Land of Rejections

I am not much of a horror film buff, but every once in a while my honey can get me to sit in terror while watching some scary stuff.  There is one movie that has been coming to mind today.  It's about two men locked inside a room together.  They are chained to the wall.  Then this voice is piped into the room.  The evil person holding them says they have two ways to get out of the room, kill the other person or chop off their own chained up limb.  Neither choice sounds very appealing. So they wrestle with this choice throughout the whole movie.  That's all I remember. But somehow today I can totally relate to how they feel. 
My oldest loves to be busy. He loves to try new  things.  And with the trying of lots of new things hes experienced many failures and rejections.  His most recent...drum major.  BUT his cousin did make it.  Talk about salt in a wound. Now he can't just chalk it up and move on, but he has to face his rejection every time he sees her out on the field, in front, leading everyone.  He was happy for her and congratulated her, and I am proud of him for that. But unfortunately, he's becoming quite good at congratulating others for their success.  And I've watched the toll it's taking on his self-esteem. 

And I am drawn back to scenes of that that movie.  I feel like one of those people.  And while escaping the room sounds wonderful, helping Mark escape sounds even better.  I'm willing to walk around maimed for my son.  I'd give my right arm to see him succeed at something.  I wouldn't even think of the pain, because 1) it couldn't be any worse than the torture I am experiencing for my son now, and 2) the utter joy of seeing him happy would absolutely override the pain of that lost appendage.

But I can't do that.  There is no crazed psycho giving me the choice to cut off my arm so Mark's dreams can come true.  So I am stuck, in this room, watching him try and fail again, and again. Nothing is more torturous than this. 

I have to trust that there is a purpose for all of this.  I have to hope that God will use all of this to mold Mark into something great.  I am wildly clinging to God's promises in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." It's a great verse to cling to.  But before that He is telling His people to stay in the land of  heartache--for SEVENTY YEARS!!! WHAT?!?  That is hard.  But God promises His people that when the time is right, He will bring them out. He promises that He will listen when they call to Him. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." Boy that sounds good--to not be disappointed anymore. First, though, we are stuck in this land of failures and rejections. Until God comes and delivers us. But He promises to deliver us, and as painful and hurtful as this time is, I know He is a faithful God. So if He says He has plans to prosper Mark then I know He will.  And I can't wait for that day.