The Unappreciated Gift

Today I gave a gift I really didn't want to give. That sounds silly doesn't it? I mean who BUYS a gift knowing that it is a gift, but yet ends up not wanting to GIVE said gift? Who does that? Ummm...me (sheepishly raising my hand).

Some people give very specific gifts because there is a sentimental attachment.  For example, an older married couple may give every newly married couple a picture album because they themselves got one when they were married and filled it with lots of memories. Or an older Christian may choose to give a newer Christian a very specific Bible because that specific Bible helped them grow into the believer they are. We become creatures of habit that way. I have a friend who likes to give new moms hooded bath towels, because if you've ever had a child you know there never seem to be enough, especially in the beginning. I am the same way. I have a specific gift for specific times.

And usually, when you give a gift you have a relationship with the receiver, and the better, the more personal the gift, the closer the relationship. For me this gift was personal.  It was picked out with love. When I looked at it, it reminded me of very precious memories. And the person receiving this gift held a very special place in our family for a long time.

But times change, and sometimes our choices take us in different directions. That is exactly the case in this situation. And I know what you are thinking..."well, if this person held such a special place before, then give the gift remembering that." And I should, but I also give it knowing that as I give it I will never get to see the joy this gift brings. I guess I'm mourning the change in the relationship. I'm mourning the fact that, to this person, this gift may not ever mean to them what it means to me. That leads me to feeling stupid for ever opening up my heart to this relationship. I mean why would I share something that is so personal to my family with someone who will never love me like family again? So giving this gift is stupid, it's unappreciated, it's wasted. Those are the thoughts running through my head.

Then I think about Someone else who gave a gift without expecting anything in return, knowing some people would refuse to receive it, appreciate it, or recognize the great love with which it was given.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him would not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16

I think that is where I would draw the line. Seriously. Giving my gift was hard enough. There's no way someone could convince me to give one of my sons for the whole world. Yet, God did. He gave His ONLY Son, so I could have a chance at eternal life.  Without His gift I would never be able to spend eternity with Him.  God saw me in my messed up, self-centered, selfish state and said, "I'll give my Son for you. Maybe someday you'll appreciate it. Maybe someday you will fully understand the cost this gift brought."

And I think I do understand, not completely like I should. I have a long way to go before I am at that level, but everyday that I open my eyes, I  realize how much I am loved by my Heavenly Father, and that makes me want to be more like Him.

So I gave the gift, and I said a prayer of blessing as I let it go. May the receiver someday come to know the depth of love that is attached to that gift.  May the receiver look at it and know it was given with great sacrifice. And more than anything, at some point, may the receiver look at it and see a greater love than mine, the love of the Father. If my measly little gift does that some day, then the hurt associated with releasing it will all be worth it.