How do you spell relief?

T-E-S-T. Huh?! You say. "Tests never relieved me, and when I go to the doctors they CERTAINLY don't ease my nerves. How can a test bring you relief--or have you lost your marbles?" It's okay, I know that is what you are saying as you read. But let me explain.

My middle son, Matthew, has struggled since he started school. I remember it began in pre-k when his compassionate teacher(not) told me--after three months in school--that he was easily distracted and therefore becomes a distraction. Even then he struggled learning and saying his letter sounds. It was not the first time I cried over my sweet baby Matthew, nor would it be the last.

In Kindergarten it was not decided until the last few weeks of school that he would indeed promote the next year to first grade. It took him that long to finally recognize all of his letters even if he could not make their sounds due to a speech impediment. We worked so hard that year to help him recognize letters and know their names. We thought we had made it over a hurdle and were anxious for 1st grade.

Little did we know that first grade had a MILLION more hurdles to jump. For so many reasons we were against retention, but administration was ADAMANT that he be retained. We fought tooth and nail and got him a private tutor. He was brilliant in math, and comprehended everything he was reading even if it took him 20 minutes to read 60 words (Which should have only taken him ONE minute). His tutor, Sarah, was a complete Godsend. We were desperate. Matthew hated school and hated himself when it was time to do homework. Many days brought tears for both of us. Sarah, and her sweet spirit reminded Matthew to stay calm, showed him different ways of learning and gently drilled reading passages into him.

It was a success and he was promoted on to second grade where he continued tutoring with Sarah. He maintained a b average and began feeling a bit more confident every day.

Third grade came and for the first time in his little life he made honor roll. He maintained straight A's all year! Sarah continued meeting with him to help him prepare for the TAKS test. He took it and was two away from commended! We all rejoiced--thanked God for helping this little angel make it through.

So fourth grade came along and we thought "oh this is gonna be okay". His skills are improving and his self esteem is improving. We were told at the end of his third grade year that no leap was as significant in his education than the leap from third to fourth grade. So we knew it would get tougher. But we read all summer, we journaled (although he hated it), and we worked on basic math facts. So we thought we were ready.

Then...it happened again...first grade. Tears about work, frustration, misunderstanding, bad grades. Yet, I've never seen a child work so hard. His effort should give him a 4.5 GPA EASY! Instead this year he is a solid B minus student. That's not bad you say, but, no really, you don't know how hard he works. It is taking all he's got to get him that B minus.

So...we met with the student support team today and they agreed to get him tested for dyslexia. It is possible that he does not have dyslexia but maybe another learning disability. This is all so new to us, but we are hopeful. No parent WANTS their child to struggle. And if there is anything we can do to help him succeed--we are willing. So we wait...and pray...and hope. Testing begins immediately and within the next month we will meet with the specialist to hear her findings. Would you pray with me? Matthew is a blessing. Anyone who meets him does not walk away unchanged by his kindness. And I want him to know that mommy and daddy will give our very last breath to help him succeed. No child deserves it more.