Misunderstandings

Tonight, for the first time, my little Noah had to apologize for something that was misunderstood. It was hard for me to make him do and harder still for him to do at all. We went to his Halloween Carnival at school, and as we were walking up the sidewalk a small boy (smaller than Noah) ran up to him and said "HI NOAH! ARE YOU DIEGO?" Noah became flustered and spit out words in short bursts. He has never liked attention drawn on him and tonight was no different. He said "Auuuggghh...I don't...like...him." Well, I heard it and immediately pinched his arm as we moved along. Little did I know that this boy's mom heard Noah too. But she doesn't know Noah like I do, and so she said "Brian stay away from that little boy. He's mean. Did you hear him? He said He didn't like you." That broke my heart. Noah is not mean. He is far from it. So when we entered the building I pulled him aside and told him his words hurt someone else. I asked him why he didn't like Brian. He said he did like Brian, but he did not like being called out. But in his embarrassment he blurted out something entirely different. He meant, "I don't like him embarrassing me." Yet how do you make someone believe you MEANT one thing when you SAID another entirely?! So as painful as it was I made him apologize to Brian. And he WEPT as he did it.

And it made me think of an incident this week with my mom. She called on my house phone. We've been having trouble with it. So when it was not registering on caller i.d. I picked it up and said "I don't have time for this". My mom heard me and assumed I meant I did not have time for her. I hurt her feelings. I meant I did not have time for this malfunctioning phone--NOT my mom. Yet she took it completely different.

Then I thought of how much God hurts when we hurt one another...intentionally or unintentionally. I was so hurt tonight for Noah, for Brian. Hurt because we've taught Noah better--be careful little mouth what you say, hurt because I understood that this little boys parents viewed him just as precious as I view Noah. I was hurt that someone else would misunderstand my son and actually think that was his nature. I was hurt when my mom misunderstood what I said--that she would actually think I would be so mean. It's been a tough week full of misunderstandings.

This verse has brought much sad revelations to me this week. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. James 3:5 Together with Noah I have learned the importance of watching your tongue (even when you are not being intentional). Maybe I need to practice self control more...instead of flying off the handle. It's amazing how I am his mother yet still learn right along with him. It is my prayer that this next week will allow both of us to walk in God's forgiveness and grace, and that next time our tongues won't cause so much damage.

But what about those misunderstandings that we don't realize? When we walk past a friend in the store, church, or wherever without acknowledging them when they just KNOW we looked right at them? Or bumping into someone at the coffee house and enjoying a cup with them, then the next thing you hear you've had a private party excluding others. OR how about mailing a birthday card to one friend and emailing another and then having the emailed friend upset because you did not care enough to mail a real card (even though your email friend checks email more frequently than snail mail). That is a true story. How do we handle those misunderstandings? How do we apologize for something we don't know about? How do we clear the air?

I want to be more like my Heavenly Father always loving and kind. Yet times like these make me realize I've got so much more to learn and apply. I sang that song to Noah last night..."be careful little mouth what you say, be careful little mouth what you say. For the Father up above is looking down in love so be careful little mouth what you say." He does look down in love. And sometimes I feel He flinches when I do dumb things like I did with my mom, then he hurts for the one I've hurt (or Noah has hurt, or anyone else has hurt). And so, my friend, I want to say I'm sorry. If I have walked past you, if I have forgotten you, if I have accidentally excluded you, if I have offended you in any way. It was certainly not my intention. Please forgive me. And I pray that your relationships would always be free of misunderstandings--I can't think of many other hurts that painfully or needlessly linger so long.