Safe

I'm sitting here after tucking all my guys in for another nights rest. The only sound I hear is Noah's radio. His radio never gets good reception and it makes him sad because he longs to listen to K-Love. For those of you who do not know, K-Love is Christian radio station. We've tried and tried to tune it in better. We've moved the radio, we've added another antenna, we've wrapped his antenna in foil--all with no luck. But tonight I thought I would try it just in case. If you get too close you tune it in the sports radio station, but if you stay away from it you can hear K-Love loud and strong.

God orchestrated all of this tonight. He wanted me to hear this song. But I am getting ahead of myself so let me back up a bit. Last night Chris and I had a devotional together. The title was "God is Good". The scripture was Jeremiah 29:11 "Surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with a hope." The devotional closed by asking us to reflect upon our innermost longings for our lives and marriage. Then to pray that our partner might entrust all to God.

Here lately I've been experiencing some pounding waves. As a result I feel myself drawing all that I hold dear close to me. I don't want to share it with anyone because what if they hurt me, or laugh at me, or discourage me.

Last night as we shared what our innermost longings were for our marriage and also our own lives, it hit me. I've prayed and prayed about all these things. I have asked God to fix this problem, work out that situation, heal this hurt, change that attitude, remove this heartache. BUT...have I ENTRUSTED them to God. Or do I look over His shoulder the whole time--making sure He's doing it my way? Basically, do I leave my hurts, hopes, and fears with God then trust that He will deal with it the way that is best for me? Do I TRUST God? Sounds absurd right--if you're a believer how can you NOT trust God? If you pray to Him you must trust Him. I do, as long as I can watch. "God don't take my problems/dreams/children/marriage/fill-in-the-blank out of my sight, I want to see what you do with them."

Last night I felt Him saying to me "Trust me. I am planning good for your future, and only MY plans can provide the answers for your hurts, hopes, and fears. "

Then tonight this is the song I heard so loud and clear:
Your name is Jesus. Your name is Jesus.
You’re the Wonderful, Counselor, my Friend.
You’re what I hold on to;
I know that you brought me through
All the days of loss,
to the cross you knew
I’d need a Savior.

If you're where I am right now, let it go. Stop watching over God's shoulder. Know there isn't ANYTHING you can give Him that He will lose. Your hurts--He will gently remove their pain. Your fears--He will not laugh as you pour them out. Your dreams--He will listen to them with the same glimmer in His eye that you get every time you talk about them. No matter who has let you down before, a spouse, a child, a parent, a sibling--they are not God. And God promises never to let you down. But you have to let go of all you're holding on to long enough to grab His hand. Because it's only when you're holding His hand that He can lead you to the place you've been dreaming of. And I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get there.